Seddie Con Queso
by luna moody
Summary: Everytime we play this game, you always change the rules." A short collection of stories based off of MackenzieGirl's 100 word Seddie challenge. Warning: Cheesy goodness ahead!
1. Kitties and more

**A couple weeks ago MackenzieGirl set out a challenge. Write a series of Seddie stories, using all of a list of 100 words. Well my intention was to take this challenge and use it as a daily writing exercise. Me, being me, already missed the first few days. New Strategy. I would write my first one using as many words as I could. This is the result...a one-shot future fic starring...eh, you already know. Hopefully everything else will be explained as you go. Only one thing left:**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this, I'd be paid a whooole lot more than I am. And probably drinking out of a fruit on a beach somewhere.**

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"Nope. No Way! You cannot throw a **guitar** string into the kitty, Sam." Freddie and Sam had these bi-weekly poker games ever since they turned 16. Most of the time they had other people joining them, like Carly, or her fiancé Luke, or some guys from Freddie's old dorm. Tonight, though, it was just the two of them.

"Every time we play poker, you always end up changing the rules," Freddie protested.

"And what rules am I supposedly changing?" Sam wore the same expression of bored annoyance that she wore every other time he brought this up.

"Up to now, every **bet** has been food. You started with **bubblegum**," he listed. "I added **lollipops**, you threw in a **sandwich**, I matched you with **sweet** and **sour shrimp**. You put in **Fladoodles** and I raised with my mom's celery **cake**."

"Which I still say is a **ripoff**!" Sam had risen off her chair and had come nose to nose with her familiar opponent. "First of all, those were the **famous** Norwegian **Fire** Fladoodles. B): It wasn't even a cake it was **muffins**, and 3): You **dare** to call something with vegetables a dessert?!"

"Hey," he pointed at her. "It's my uncle's award winning recipe. And he happens to be a world renown chef."

She swiftly smacked his finger out of her face. "Yeah? Well then your whole **family** is **sick**, Benson!" She sat back down and folded her arms. "What's your point anyway?"

"The point is that since we were kids, you've been throwing weird things into the **kitties** and it's been worse since we started **dating**." Freddie threw his hands up, partially in exasperation, and partially in an unconscious attempt to block any blows that may come his way.

"Like what?"

"Well, like the **socks** with pink **stripes** or the **fuzzy blindfold**," He lowered his hands, feeling relatively safe for the moment. "Not really my **style** there, Puckett."

"No?" She raised her eyebrows and leaned in to whisper in her low tone. "I seem to recall putting that fuzzy blindfold to very good use on our **date** last Thursday."

The memory made Freddie blush about four shades of red. "Yeah," he cleared the lump from his throat. "That was kinda hot."

"Uh huh, and you're welcome." She smirked and sat back in her seat. Point Puckett.

"Well what about the, not one, but four **movies** you put in where the convenience store guys are dressed like **pirates**?"

"Classics."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "What about the **goldfish**?" he quickly remembered.

"What about it?"

"It was Spencer's goldfish…and you were fish sitting while he was on vacation!" He was very aware that this conversation had suddenly gotten about fifteen decibels higher. He was also aware that it rarely ended well for him when it did.

"Well, he got it back didn't he?"

"Only after he started blubbering like a baby and accused me of being a fishnapper!"

"Whatever. That's the past, this is the present and the string stays!" She sat back finalizing the matter. "Besides, you asked for it."

"Wha…?" Freddie was struck **speechless** for a moment as he tried to process what she just said. "Why would I ask for a guitar string when I don't play guitar?"

"I don't know? It's the G string." She waved him off. "You asked last night if you could play with my G string!"

A blush crept up in Freddie's cheeks again as he suddenly remembered the conversation. "Ahem, I mean the **frilly** lace one I saw you buy in the mall a couple weeks ago."

Sam quickly whipped her head around as her **eyes** bore a hole into his gut. Just as Freddie was about to give up and relinquish everything, she suddenly started laughing. Not just laughing…laughing hysterically! "You thought I…You think I'd wear…You want to see…Yeah right Benson like that would ever happen!"

Freddie quickly became annoyed at her revelry. "I got that for a game for Carly's bachelorette party. Hahaha. Thinking you'd get to see me in that. How **adorable**!"

"Alright, already!" Freddie reached his breaking point. "The guitar string can stay if you just shut up!"

Sam's laughter began to wane a bit, and an idea struck him. He set his cards face down on the table and began reaching into his pocket. "And…I raise with this." He plopped a small **purple** box on the top of the pot.

She eyed it suspiciously for a few seconds. "What's that?"

"**Magic**!" he smirked.

"Pshht." She breathed and reached forward to grab it.

In a flash, Freddie snatched the small box just out of her reach. "Nuh uh. You can't look at it unless you win it."

Sam bore her eyes into him again, making him squirm a bit. "Okay," he finally relented. "It's not really magic, but it is valuable."

She sat back and crossed her arms studying his expression. She somehow always knew when he was bluffing.

"You're **lying**," she finally concluded. "It's probably something stupid like **bugs** or **mud**."

Freddie waved it enticingly in front of her. "You never know. It could be something like **perfume**…or **bacon!**"

She launched herself forward to grab it again, but again he pulled it just out of her reach. "You can't play an unknown like that. I won't accept it."

"Yeah, you will."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "And what makes you think that Whiz Pants?"

"Oh goody, **Names**!" he laughed. "Because…" He took a moment to make sure she didn't miss the smirk he had freshly plastered on his face. "…your left eye is **twitching**. It's your tell, Puckett. You're dying to know what's in this box so bad, you'll probably have a **nightmare** if you don't find out."

They were locked in a stare-down for a few moments before she finally jumped up. "Fine!" She ran out of the room, and he could hear things flying in the bedroom before she ran back out carrying a **sparkly disco** ball.

"Where did you get that thing?" he giggled.

"I found it when we went **shopping** for **party** **decorations** for your **birthday**." She climbed over the back of the chair.

"But my birthday's not until next month." He was really surprised that she was thinking this far ahead.

"Yeah well…since it's your 23rd , as one of your **presents**, Carly and I decided to get all of our old High School **friends** together for a mini 5 yr reunion **prom** as a surprise for you…**Whoops!**" She smiled as she threw the ball on top of the pile.

"Wow Sam. That was an incredibly **nice** and thoughtful gift." He answered truly shocked. "I was sort of expecting something **childish** like those floatie things that kids wear while **swimming** at the **beach**. And knowing you, as an extra stab at my manhood, they'd probably have **photos** of **Barbies** or **Tinkerbell** from **Disney**."

"Now why didn't I think of that?" She laughed. "I guess I can give you those next year. Okay, Benson. Mirror ball and I call."

"Yes! In 5…"

"Five my butt! Just flip em over Benson!"

Freddie flipped his cards over revealing an embarrassingly low hand.

"Awww, a pair of twos. That's so cute!" Sam taunted as she leaned over to look at them. "Care for some tea and crumpets with the queen?" She asked in a fake **British** accent. "**ZAP!** Straight flush, Queen high. Hahaaa, Read em and weep, Fredzilla!"

She waved the cards in front of him then started to **sing** as she collected her winnings. "Oh yeah, Mama's a winner! Got herself a new purple box full of…"

Freddie grabbed the box off the pile and started to make his way to the kitchen.

"Hey! That's mine, and you better give it back, or I'll put you in a chokehold so bad, you'll be seeing **stars** for a month, Benson!" She got up off her chair and started to chase after him.

Freddie realized he'd cornered himself in the kitchen. He looked around for anything, and then threw a wet sponge at her, smacking her directly in the face. Luckily it distracted her enough that he could dodge around her and out the kitchen, back toward the table again.

Sam recovered quickly and jumped up onto the counters. Just as he was coming around the corner, she launched herself at him like a **superhero** in flight and tackled him from behind. Grabbing his waist, she pulled him onto the floor between the table and the turtle **aquarium**. Freddie clutched the box tightly between him and the floor, while the **popcorn** and **glasses** of **Pepsi** that Sam knocked off the table, started to **rain** down over both of them.

"Give it back, Pickleweasel!" She was straddled across his behind, trying to dig underneath him to get it, but he had no intention of letting it go easily.

"Ugh!" Freddie grunted as the box was digging into his sternum. "Okay, get off of me and I'll give it to you."

Sam dismounted from Freddie's backside and stood up. She thrust her hand out and tapped her foot waiting for the box. Freddie slowly started to get up, cradling the box in one hand. He got as far as his knees then he stopped, looking down at the little purple box.

"I've been carrying this around for weeks trying to find the right time to give this to you. I thought about wrapping it up and having it be one of your **Christmas** presents from **Santa**. Or doing it just as we **kiss**ed on New Years, when we rode our **bikes** to watch the **fireworks** off the Space Needle. I even thought about attaching it to a **letter** and having **Cupid** deliver it on a **skateboard** for Valentines." He opened the box to reveal a perfect simple white gold engagement ring. A deep purple oval amethyst sparkled in the middle and a diamond on each side.

Sam crossed her arms in front of her and shifted to one foot. "So you decided to **propose** at a poker game?"

This wasn't going at all how he expected. With her things seldom do. He brought his hand up to **massage** the back of his neck, finding the words to continue. "Look, I know I probably could have had **candles**, **roses**, maybe those chocolate covered **cherries** you like…some soft music playing from a **radio** in the background."

He got up off of his knees and moved closer to her. "All that stuff though, it isn't us. This is us! The poker games, the wrestling on the floor covered in sticky liquid, driving each other crazy because it's such an absolute turn on. That's us! With you, life is a gamble. What more appropriate way to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me then while gambling."

Sam didn't speak for several moments, and the silence was agonizing to him. He looked down at the ring and began to close the box.

"You know it's not really gambling, when you're betting on a sure thing." Her voice rang like a tiny perfect bell in his ears. He looked up to see a slight smile on her face before she continued. "…but you have to shut up with your incessant yammering, and ask me already."

There was no way he could've smiled bigger if he'd tried. He got back down on one knee and with trembling hands removed the ring from it's safe little home. "Samantha Puckett, would you give me the honor of driving me crazy…forever."

She giggled at his choice of words. So perfect, and fitting. "Yes Freddie, and it's about freakin time!" She smiled as he delicately placed the ring on her finger. "So, uh…what do we do now, seal it with a **handshake** or something?"

"I got a better idea." He stood up and took her face in both hands and hungrily brought his lips to hers. There was such a frantic passion building in the kisses that she didn't notice she'd been moved across the room until she fell across the edge of the couch; him landing on top of her.

They broke the kiss when they both started laughing. "So, Benson. That was quite an interesting game, I must say."

He began drawing **doodles** across her chest with his finger as he looked into her eyes. 'Interesting indeed. And most interesting of all is that somehow we both ended up winners."

"Ugh." Sam groaned and dropped her head to the side. "You did not just ruin a perfectly good moment with a cheesy line like that!"

"Ruin!" Freddie said mildly shocked. "I thought you said everything was better con queso."

"Cheddar, not chucklehead!" She pulled his head back to her and gave him a small kiss when she saw a small pout across his lower lip. "You are aware that we're very sticky right now?"

He wiggled a bit feeling the friction that the syrupy cola made against their bodies. "Well, maybe we should fix that." He climbed off of her and held his hand out to her. "Mrs. Benson."

"Uh, No way!" She wiggled her nose at this new name as she took his hand to get up. "There's no way I'm changing my name to the same as your mother's. Maybe you should change yours to Puckett."

"Freddie Puckett?" He rolled the name around like it left a bad taste in his mouth. "Hate it, besides I'm the guy and it's tradition that the girl…" He stopped as he saw a glare beginning to form across her eyes. "You know what? He wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his forehead against hers. "Nothing in the world can ruin this day. Unless…" He pulled his head back and a mischievous smile crossed his lips. "…I don't get the shower first."

He picked her up and tossed her back to the couch as he ran for the bathroom door. She quickly recovered and was on his heels, but he managed to get the door closed just as she reached it. She banged loudly on the door, "Benson, you better let me in, or you'll find your severed head lying next to you in the morning…and I'm not talking about the one on your shoulders!"

She jumped back as the door suddenly swung open, and he greeted her with a wide smile. "Guess what! There's plenty of room for two!" He pulled her into the bathroom and shut the door.

Oh yeah, no doubt about it. Married life would be a huge poker game between these two. But they wouldn't have it any other way.

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**Word cound from the list...86. Not bad. 14 more to go. If you give me a review, i'll name one of my virtual fish after you? Don't you want a little digital fish floating around with your name? Thought so.**


	2. Camping and the other 13

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Well here we are on the 2nd one-shot of this little adventure I'd like to call Mackenziegirl's 100 word challenge...or more aptly titled Seddie Con Queso. Why, you may ask, is it called "Seddie Con Queso"? Well it's because it's our favorite Seddie, and I didn't skimp on the Cheese. Yes, folks there is a Cheesy factor of 11 here, But I hope you'll find it savory enough for you.

**These are the remaining 14 words of the challenge, starting with the word CAMPING (all words are in bold). Now what am I going to do with that one? Hmmm. Warning: It's kinda long for a one-shot.**

**Disclaimer: I had some witty banter about how I don't own iCarly, but the goat ate it...you don't want to know. Happy reading, and please leave all reviews at the end of the page, thank you.**

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"We'd like to thank Somer and her 6th grade class for demonstrating what it would sound like if an army of **frogs** had **hiccups**!" Freddie zoomed in for a close up on Carly while Sam acted like a frog catching imaginary flies in the background. Sam was just about to introduce the next clip when they were all startled by a sudden loud tapping on the glass of the studio door.

"Uh oh," Sam said as she caught the source of the noise. "Spencer's busting a vein about something again."

Freddie swung the camera around to show Spencer's face plastered against the glass. He was urgently tapping with one hand, and had a large red velvet envelope in the other. His wide grin told them it wasn't anything bad, but whatever it was, he thought it was extremely important.

"Ok," Carly thought quickly. "We're just about out of time anyway, so until next week remember…Always be kind to old people."

"Because," Sam jumped in, "you never know when they'll decide to play hide and seek with their teeth. Really Jama-maw? I'll never see gelatinous desserts the same way ever again."

Pop music was cued in the background and the two girls danced wildly around the stage to finish out the show. No sooner had Freddie announced, "and we're clear," than Spencer burst through the door.

"GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT!" He grabbed Carly by the shoulders trying to bring her into his revelry.

"You caught your underwear in your zipper again?" Sam answered as she grabbed the turkey leg she'd hidden behind the dash of the car sculpture.

An audible groan was heard from Freddie at the A/V cart as Spencer's face fell. "No…and thank you for that painful reminder."

"Well what is it?" Carly asked trying to bring back the excitement.

"I just got back from Socko's, and Alexus is back in town!" Spencer started jumping up and down and pulling Carly with him.

"OMG, that's awesome!" Carly cheered as she bobbed up and down with her brother.

"Are you Serious? I love that dude!" Sam joined in, waving her turkey leg dangerously with every leap.

Freddie's face watched them all curiously. "Who's Alexis?"

"Alex_us_ is Socko's brother." Carly stopped to brief her friend. "He's an entertainer in San Francisco and throws some of the most outrageous parties ever!"

"Speaking of which," Spencer wore a smug look on his face. "They're having a camp party tomorrow, and guess who he's invited." He waved the velvet envelope in front of them. "He's having some performance artist friends come. Since you guys are local internet celebrities, he thought maybe you'd want to bring along the camera and maybe do an **interview** or two for the show?"

"What? No Way!" Sam exclaimed excitedly.

"Absolutely we're going!" Carly rushed.

"Fabulous!" Spencer jumped heading for the door. "I'll go tell him right now. Then it's off to shop for the party!"

The girls started jumping up and down, leaving a clueless Freddie to chuckle behind them.

"So, I thought all of Socko's **siblings** had weird names." Freddie mentioned curiously. "Alexus isn't that weird."

"Weird enough when he's named after a **car**." Carly saw the look of confusion spread over his face. "Hello, A Lexus?"

"Oh." He nodded as the realization finally started to hit him. "Well anyway, the party sounds like fun. I have a new sleeping bag and digital flashlight I've been wanting to try out."

"Try out for what?" Carly cocked her head at the boy.

"For the **camping** party."

"But, it's not a camp_ing_ party," Carly explained simply. "It's _Camp_ party."

Freddie looked at her with renewed confusion. "What's the difference?"

"It's CAMP!" Carly's vague explanation did nothing to clear his confusion. "You know, it's where people dress…"

"Whoa Carlton." Sam stepped in front of her and purposely caught her eyes. "Maybe it's better if we don't try to explain it. Maybe we should just show the bobble head, yeah?" A sly smile crossed her lips before she turned her attention to Freddie. "Be here at 7:00 tomorrow, we'll have everything you need ready for you."

Freddie looked at Sam skeptically then he turned his attention to Carly.

"No, It'll be cool," Carly promised. "Spencer's taking us shopping for it anyway. We can get your stuff, no big deal."

"But what kind of stuff are you…" Freddie was stopped short when Sam came up behind and started pushing him toward the door.

"Jees! Again with you and your questions! Just go home and write your Dork Universe **Fanfiction** and let us handle the rest." She didn't give him a chance to respond. She pushed him into the hallway and locked the door behind him.

"Sam!" Carly Scolded. "I really don't see why we couldn't tell him what a camp party is."

"Because we need someone to run the camera." Sam explained as if the whole thing should be obvious. " You really think he'd agree to come if he knew what he'd be wearing?"

"Hmm." Carly nodded as she grabbed her coat. "Good choice. Now, lets go get our stuff for the party!"

***************************************************Time passes******************************************************************************

Spencer and the girls were out for most of the morning leaving, Freddie by himself most of the next day. He busied himself with homework and various chores until the alarm on his Pear Phone beeped 6:30. He took a quick shower and did his hair before finding himself in front of the Shay apartment door promptly at 7:00.

His curiosity had slowly built into anxiety over what their plans might actually be. Just to be safe, he already decided that if he saw any hint of hair clippers he was ready to run to Florida if he needed to. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He was slightly relieved when Spencer answered looking relatively ordinary. In fact the only difference he could see was Spencer's extra fluffy hair and the bathrobe he was wearing.

"Hey Freddo!" Spencer rushed him through the door. "I'm still getting my stuff ready. Carly is getting dressed, I was told to tell you your stuff is in the studio, and to go up immediately and get changed."

"What am I cha…?" Freddie called as Spencer was darting out of the room.

"Can't talk, gotta go!" Spencer disappeared as his bedroom door gave a loud click.

Freddie trudged up the 2 flights of stairs to the studio. He glanced through the door to see a coat rack in the center of the room. A garment bag was hanging from it and a non-descript shoebox sat at the base. He walked over and saw the white sheet of notebook paper attached to the bag. He recognized Sam's barely legible scrawl from the many hours of **passing notes** she did during 4th period history.

_Dear Fudge Face, _

_POP CULTURE DICTIONARY: Camp: Over the top, outrageous, and irreverent dress and/or behavior, to the point of amusement. _

_This is what you're wearing to the party tonight. Carly will help you when you need it. No sense in arguing, we need you there. Can't wait to see everyone put together._

_S._

_P.S. Don't even think of backing out. By the time you read this, I will have kidnapped your precious Nub Nub, Princess Oblongata and every other Galaxy Wars doll you have ever owned. I'm holding them hostage until the end of the party tonight. See ya later, sweet cheeks!_

"They're action figures!" Freddie yelled at the paper. He wadded up the note and threw it at the frozen video frame of her and Carly on the monitor above the car. Memories of standing in the halls of Ridgeway dressed as a clown flashed through his brain. He turned back to the garment bag and breathed a deep sigh. "This can't be good."

He hesitantly reached out and unzipped the zipper. The shock of fabric and red tulle spilling through the fresh opening sent him reeling backwards, tangling his feet in the shoebox. He kicked to free himself of the box, and before he could right himself, he was hit in the chest with a hairy wad that looked like some sort of foreign animal. He felt several tiny spikes against his arm and completely freaked out.

He quickly threw it off of him and ran for the door. "CAAARRRLYYY!!!" He looked back to make sure whatever it was didn't escape the studio and start following him.

"CARLY! CARLY! CARLY!" He yelled her name repeatedly like an alarm as he ran down to the second floor.

Carly poked her head out the door to see the screaming mess coming down the hall at her. He was too hysterical to even notice she was dressed in a short grey chiffon nightgown, and had grey ears on her head. "Well, I guess there's no need to announce that you're here! What is wrong with you?"

"There's a…THING!" He pointed trying to catch his breath. "In the studio…jumped from the shoebox and attacked me!" He held his chest where the thing had landed. "It was all hair and teeth, and Grrr! We have to call animal control!"

"Animal control?" She asked curiously. "Freddie, calm down. What are you talking about?"

He took a deep breath and tried to continue. "I tripped over the shoebox and this thing jumped out at me and landed on my chest."

"Uh, huh." Carly tried to stifle a laugh. "Freddie, what color was this so-called animal?"

"I don't know, like red…orange…something." He stood trying not to remember the horrible thing.

"Okay." Carly sighed. "Come with me." She grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs back to the studio, her small tail swishing behind her.

"Be Careful Carly, it could be anywhere ready to attack!" He quickly looked around waiting for something to jump out at him.

"What?" Carly bent down and pulled the offensive ball of fur off of the floor. "You mean this?" She dangled the thing from her upheld hand. "It's called a wig, Freddie. They don't attack, they just itch you to death."

Freddie looked cautiously at the less frightful wig. "But I could swear I felt teeth!"

"It was probably just the…" Carly jostled it around until she finally had it upright. "…the hat!" Freddie looked over to see a small fake watermelon bowl (complete with melon balls) on top of a headband that had been glued into the wig.

"Nobody said anything about **hats**_._" Freddie's voice was starting to rise. "Nobody said anything about wigs!"

"Aww, but it goes so well with the dress," Carly cooed. "Besides, you always said **redheads** were sexy."

"Yes, when someone else is the redhe…Dress?" Freddie's eyes were as wide as saucers. His ever-fading calm veneer finally had broken. "UNDER ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCE DID ANYBODY SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A DRESS!"

Carly giggled nervously. She knew she shouldn't have let Sam talk her into making this a surprise. "It's really cute, actually." She walked over and finished unzipping the bag. "See?"

She pulled the bag off and held the dress out in front of her. Freddie's stomach felt like it had dropped down into his toes. He stood staring open-mouthed at the sight before him. There were two small stuffed watermelons over the chest, the stems created a halter up the neck, the leaves doubled as lapels, and there were red puffy sleeves. Just below the "melons" was a fitted red, green, and white pinstripe fabric that came down into a flared short skirt with a red tulle petticoat below. It was neatly finished with a frilly white apron tied at the waist, and a giant slice of watermelon appliquéd on the front.

"What is that?" Freddie finally managed to squeak out.

"It's a watermelon dress!" Carly said brightly. "Sam picked it out."

"Of course she did!" Freddie threw up his hands in frustration and started pacing the floor mumbling. "Every time…EVERY TIME! I give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her, and every time she ends up making a fool out of me. Why do I even bother? It's not like she even likes me. I'm just her little toy to torture and put…"

"HEY!" Carly rarely shouted, so Freddie automatically came to a halt. "Sam is my friend, and she's your friend too. For your information, MY idea was to put you in one of those Banana lady dresses with the large bowl of fruit on your head."

She put the dress back on the stand and started poking his chest, backing him further across the room. "It was Sam who thought that maybe it might be a little too much for you, and we should think simpler. It was Sam who picked out the watermelon because she knows you like it, and it was Sam who went to all this trouble to make sure that you'd have a little bit of fun instead of hiding in your room playing video games all night. So instead of bad mouthing her behind her back, maybe you ought to be thanking her!"

With one final poke to the chest, Freddie toppled over one of the beanbag chairs that had been left in the floor. Carly threw the dress on top of him. "Put this on. I'll be back in 15 minutes to do your hair and make-up." She swished across the room headed out the door. "I'm going to my room to finish getting ready. Do you have any questions?"

"Uh" Freddie looked at her curiously. "What are you?"

"I'm a **mouse**!" She pointed up to her hears. "Duh!"

"Oh." Freddie looked her over and chuckled. "Nice tail!"

"Ugh!" Carly grabbed her tail and held it to her chest. She spun around and marched out the door giving him a glare through the glass as she went.

Freddie giggled at her reaction then he reached down into the shoebox. "So this is Sam being _nice_ to me, huh?" He pulled out a long white tights and a red leather high-heeled pump. "Oh Lord, I think I've reached hell."

***********************************************************Time Passes*************************************************************

45 minutes and 32 swear words later (only 7 of which were uttered by Carly), Freddie finally arrived on the first floor, pink-cheeked, ruby-lipped, and red-wigged. He took one last moment to adjust his skirt before stepping wobbly out of the elevator. He had barely cleared the door before he stopped dead in his tracks.

Spencer was standing next to the counter in his costume. He was dressed neck to pointed toe in tight royal blue spandex with sequined light blue and purple webbing woven though it. A delicate design of glitter swirls was painted across his right temple and down cheek. What was the hardest to miss, though, was his size. Spencer was unusually tall anyway, but with the ice skates he was wearing, he suddenly seemed like a giant.

They both stood eyeing each other, daring the other one to speak. A smile finally spread across Spencer's face. "Hey Freddie."

"Don't say it." Freddie winced, knowing what was coming.

Spencer gave a nod and raised his eyebrow. "Nice melons."

Freddie shook his head at the sparkly man. "You just had to say it, didn't you…you Amazonian Ice Princess?"

Spencer took the chance to egg him on a bit more. "Princess, huh? Big talk coming from a guy in a dress!"

Freddie was already on edge and ready to argue. Warming up with Spencer was fine by him. "Well at least I don't look like I got caught in Adam Lambert's paper shredder."

Spencer reeled back pretending to be insulted. "Are you calling my costume trashy?!"

Freddie raised his eyebrow and jutted out his chin. "Whatever twinkles your toes there, Sparkles McDazzle."

"Oh ho!!" Spencer stretched out to full height. "Funny that it takes putting on a skirt for you to finally start acting like a man there, Sunshine. Why don't you come over _here_ and say something."

Freddie narrowed his eyes. "No problem. I can bring it anywhere you want it!" He opened his mouth to sling another insult, but when he took a step forward on his high-heels, his foot twisted underneath him and he toppled over, landing ungracefully at Spencer's feet.

Freddie blushed as he pulled his skirt back down over his lap. "Okay, correction. I think I have a slight problem."

Spencer gave him a little chuckle. "Not as easy as they look, are they?"

Spencer reached out his hand and took a step to help him up. Before he could reach the boy, though, he caught the edge of the barstool with his skate and face planted right into Freddie's chest with a muffled, "Oof!"

He took a second to collect himself before finally sitting up. He looked back at Freddie who was slowly getting up. "Hehe. Like I said, 'Nice Melons.'"

They managed to get to their knees on their own, and then used each other for support to pull themselves up the rest of the way. Once they were sure they were steady, they carefully let go.

"Stupid torture devices!" Freddie tried to kick his foot, but his ankle began to buckle underneath him again.

Spencer reached out and pulled him upright. "You know, normally they tell you to practice walking in them for a couple days. Since you don't have that, we'll have to do a quick Heel Training 101."

"We? As in you and me?"

Freddie groaned and rolled his eyes as Spencer took his place next to him. "Okay, the first thing in successful heel walking is good posture, sooo..." He turned around and leaned over with his hands braced on his knees so that he was level with Freddie's ear. "CHEST OUT, STOMACH IN, HIPS TUCKED IN AND RELAXED, SON!" He called out in military drill form.

Freddie quickly jumped into the position that Spencer was yelling at him. He was still trying to calm his breathing after being startled, but he did notice the difference the new posture made. He let out a little smile and mumbled, "cool!"

Spencer stood back up next to Freddie and assumed the same posture. "Alright, now on to the actual walking. When you walk, you're not landing on your whole foot like you do in Tennis shoes. You're going to gently put your heel down for balance, but then quickly transfer your weigh to the ball of your foot, and then step off with your toes." Spencer leaned forward trying to demonstrate, but the method didn't work the same wearing ice skates. "Okay, you try. Heel-ball, and then move forward with your weight on the ball. The heel is just for balance."

Freddie walked halfway across the room using this method. Although it did feel less wobbly, it still lacked the grace he usually saw. He figured it must be woman thing. He carefully turned around and walked back toward Spencer. "How'd I do?"

"Better…" Spencer nodded approval, but his face didn't register 'impressed' yet. "You've got the whole balance thing down, now you just need to get the oomph."

"The oomph?"

"Yeah, you know that thing that ladies have that you just can't take your eyes off of?" Spencer raised his eyebrow and gave him a knowing nod.

Freddie gave a little smile. "Oh, Yeahhh!" He knew exactly what Spencer was talking about. "Okay, so how do I get that oomph?"

"Well, I think you need to narrow your walk." Spencer glided carefully forward on his blades trying to get a feel of just how to explain it.

"And how do I narrow my walk?"

"Well…" Spencer stopped and put his hand to his chin. "Most guys walk with their feet slightly apart because of…" He cleared his throat. "…obstructions."

"Okay." Freddie smiled following along so far. He was mildly amused that he wasn't the only one feeling awkward with this.

"Instead of walking with your feet apart like you're straddling a drain pipe, try walking with one foot in front of the other." Spencer demonstrated by walking back toward Freddie. "See like walking a rope!"

"A rope, not a pipe," Freddie repeated to himself as he prepared to take his steps forward. When Spencer reached him, he set off across the room. He stepped one foot in front of the other, making sure to land on the balls of his feet. As he reached the halfway point he called back. "How am I doing?"

Spencer stood laughing at the counter. "Nice hips dude! As my great granddad use to say, 'If I had a swing like that in my back yard, I'd paint it red!'"

"Uh, huh. Don't be hatin'!" Freddie reached the door and gracefully pivoted on the balls of his feet. "Hey look at that! I got this baby down!" He called as he stepped purposefully back toward the counter.

"Yeah, you do," Spencer called, finally impressed. "If you were a laser, you'd be set to Stunning." Spencer sniggered at his bad joke. Both were so involved in their practice that neither noticed Carly come down the stairs.

"Uh, what are you guys doing?" She stared at them wide-eyed.

"Spencer's teaching me how to walk in high heels," Freddie called as he started for another lap across the room.

Carly spun around and looked suspiciously at Spencer. "Why do you know how… Never mind. I think maybe it's better if some things are left a mystery." She shook her head and walked into the kitchen muttering, "Of course my brother would be **tutor**ing my best guy-friend on how to walk in heels. My life's not weird."

Freddie had reached the door and was on his way back when the doorbell rang. "Spencer, get that. It's Sam," Carly called from the kitchen. "Freddie, Sashay your butt over here and take these ibuprofen. Your legs will be killing you later if you don't."

Freddie had just taken the pills from Carly and was reaching for his glass of water when he heard Spencer shout, "OUTSTANDING!"

Carly's eyes lit up and a big smile crossed her face. "Yeah, Sam. You look amazing!"

Freddie tossed the pills in his mouth and took a big gulp before turning around to see what Sam was wearing this time. He took one look at her and immediately choked on the water, clumsily dribbling it down the front of him. He tried to control his coughing as he watched her strut toward him. Her hair was wantonly tousled so that it looked freshly windblown. Her fitted blue spandex top showed off plenty of her mysteriously well-toned stomach. The matching skirt dangled effortlessly from her hips leaving plenty of leg exposed to the tops of her red leather calf length boots. She even had the red satin cape swirling behind her like a flag. Every comic loving geek-boy's fantasy was right before his naked eyes, and he suddenly realized with horror that he couldn't take his eyes off the "S" across her chest.

It was only when he heard Carly mutter over his shoulder in a mocking tone, "Got something on your chin there, Sergeant Smooth," that he finally managed to tear his eyes away.

"Wow, Sam. You…Supergirl…WOW!" He stammered still not able to shake his mind into clear focus.

Sam stood tall with her hands on her hips. She turned her head to him and nodded. "Thank you, Ma'am."

Spencer and Carly were starting to turn red from trying to hold in the giggles as Sam started strutting toward him. He could only roll his eyes, cause he knew what was coming. He braced himself as she circled him slowly taking in the costume. He knew there was no way she was going to let this go without a comment.

"Will you just get it over with already?" He finally blurted out with frustration.

"Get what over with, Fredward?" She stopped in front of him pretending to look confused.

"Whatever insult you're going to make about the costume."

"I wasn't going to make an insult about the costume. It actually looks great!" She gave Freddie a small smile, which for some reason bothered him way more than an insult would have. He was ready for the insult.

"You do?"

"Of course!" She stepped back to admire the outfit. "The dress is awesome, and Carly did a great job with the hair and makeup." She started circling him again. "I only have one question."

"What's that?"

She stopped right next to him and grabbed his left butt cheek really hard. "Is this seat taken?"

"Sam!" Freddie's shout could barely be heard over Carly and Spencer who were both doubled over with uncontrolled laughter. "Man, I've been in a skirt for less than hour and already I've heard all the cheesy **pick-up lines**!"

"Dude, you haven't begun to hear the bad ones yet, like..." Sam put her hand on his shoulder. "If I had a garden, I'd put your tulips and my tulips together." Freddie rolled his eyes as she and Spencer started laughing.

Carly quickly popped up behind him. "Hey Freddie do you happen to have a band-aid?"

He breathed out a sigh, quickly losing patience. "No, why?"

"Because I think I scraped my knee falling for you." She collapsed against Sam's shoulder in a fit of giggles.

"Oh, hey!" Spencer tried controlling his laughter to join in. "Are you sure you aren't Jamaican? Cause you're Jamaican me crazy, Mon!" He slowly fell to the couch, laughing, and knocked the lamp off the side table with his skate.

"Are you a baker Freddie?" Carly started in again. "Cause those sure are some nice buns!"

Freddie's aggravation was starting to pick up, but he knew they weren't through yet.

"Yo, Frederella," Sam started looking around her. "I seem to have lost my Teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?"

Freddie's patience and finally busted. "Alright already!" The three started to calm their laughter while Freddie continued with his rant. "I get it! Freddie's in a dress, let's give him all the cheesy lines we can think of! Will you just stop with it already?"

"Alright guys, let's give him a break." Spencer peeled himself off the couch and started pulling him away from the girls. "The poor guys had enough. There you happy now?" He turned to look at Freddie and then reeled back with a surprise look on his face. "Hey you got something in your eye." Freddie started digging into the soft fleshy part next to his eye until Spencer stopped him. "Wait, it's….It's just a sparkle."

The three picked up with renewed laughter, much to his irritation. "That's it!" Freddie quickly shrugged Spencer's arm off of him and started toward the stairs. "I'm out of here. You can do the interviews without me!"

"No, no, no, no, no…" Carly raced to block his access to the stairs. "We need you, besides it's already time to go. I promise we'll stop." She pointedly looked at Sam and Spencer. "Right guys?"

"Right," Spencer smiled.

"Sam?!" Carly was still waiting on churlish friend.

"Fine! I won't give Freddie cheesy pick-up lines anymore." She wrapped her cape around her and hopped onto the stool.

"Good." Carly put her arms down. "Spencer you go get the car, the equipment's already loaded. I'm just going to run upstairs and get the show folder with the note cards and consent forms."

Freddie watched Carly and Spencer both leave the room, and apprehensively turned to Sam. She had her phone out and was holding it out toward him. "Sam, what are you doing?"

"I promised I wouldn't say any more cheesy pick-up lines." She continued to press a few more buttons and then lined it up toward him. "I didn't say anything about texting pictures of you."

"No!" Freddie rushed to grab the camera from her. "I finally got over the **rumors** that I use my mom's razor to shave my legs."

"I know." She kept squirming to keep the camera out of his reach. "But I told that one over a month ago, and it's already starting to die down."

Freddie stood back startled and stared at her. "You started that rumor?"

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" She started pushing buttons again. "You proved it wrong."

"Yeah, because I wore shorts to school every day for a month," he started yelling. "…in the middle of January…and it SNOWED for seven of those days!"

She lined up her shot again. "Hey look, we got the bulging vein this time."

Freddie launched himself at her to try to get the camera again. She twisted and pulled and managed to keep it just out of his grasp, when suddenly his foot buckled underneath him, and he fell to the ground at her feet.

He surprised her when he didn't get up right away. "You alright?"

"What do you care?"

Sam slid herself off of the stool and crouched down next to him. She looked at the picture on the phone of Freddie and his 'Watermelons'. "It really is a good picture." He watched as she shifted her thumb and pressed the little button that said 'delete'. "I guess I can save you this one time." She stood up and offered her hand. "After all, I am a superhero."

Freddie took her hand and wobbled his way upright on his red leather heels. "Thank you." He took a minute to admire her costume again. "You know, your costume really does look amazing. It's like it was suited for you."

"I know," she said assuming her superhero stance again. "And you're not exactly as hideous as I thought you'd be either."

"Wow, such praise!" Freddie chuckled. "Carly said I have you to thank for this outfit."

"Of course!" She stood back and presented her arms toward the outfit. "What could make my day better than seeing Fredward Benson in a watermelon dress?"

Freddie gave a soft chuckle at her enthusiasm before continuing. "Carly also said I have you to _thank_ for this outfit." He watched her face to see what expression came, but all he saw was confusion. "She said what she had picked out was much worse."

Her expression changed quickly. "Oh, that." Now she wore a guilty expression, like someone who'd just disappointed their grandmother. "I did it for the show." She quickly defended. "We're all dressed like preschoolers at Halloween compared to what you'll see tonight. Carly wanted to dress you over the top, but I figured if you saw that you wouldn't come. Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, we do kind of need you."

Freddie leaned down a bit toward her. "Uh huh, and is that the only reason." With his new height, she didn't quite look so powerful next to him.

"Well, I couldn't let you miss the social event of probably our lives!" She spun around to see his grinning face. "I couldn't let you kick yourself in the morning. That's MY job." She expected him to back off, but she found herself locked in his gaze, as he still stood there grinning.

"Alright guys I got the folder." They quickly broke apart as they heard Carly's voice coming down the stairs. "Let's go, Let's go!"

"After you" Freddie motioned Sam toward the door.

"Oh no," she motioned back. "After you. Ladies first." They both stood there trying to get the other to go first before Carly finally got behind and pushed them both out the into the hall before running back to get her folder and keys.

"So Benson," Sam smiled as they waited. "Can I get a bite of those tasty melons."

"That depends," he raised his eyebrow at her. "Can I get a bite of yours?"

She stood in shocked silence, impressed with his response. Carly came rushing out the door to see them still standing there. "I thought I told you to go, we're going to be late! Move, Move!" Sam grabbed Freddie by the watermelon pocket on his apron and pulled him down the hall, leaving Carly to lock the door.

"Tell you what Benson," Sam said smoothly as they stepped on the elevator. "Ask me again when the night's over, and I might say yes."

Freddie whipped his head to look at her, but he had no time to respond. Carly entered the elevator and the doors closed. He let out a little smile to himself as they all rode down in silence. The night was suddenly promising to be much more adventurous than sitting at home playing video games.

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So there we have it, all 100 words. It was kind of fun, thanks Mackenziegirl! So, dear readers, I have reached a decision that you may or may not be happy about. I purposely kept both of these chapters with the theme of cheesy (CON QUESO). I think I may want to continue and do more short stories along this theme. (Nothing springs to mind right now, but I'll keep it open just in case). I don't know if I'll continue with more random words or try some different subjects. I might even recycle and continue with this list. So reviewers (please, please, please, review) maybe you can help with building a new word bank, or maybe a particular "cheesy" theme. Just add it to your wonderful and well thought out reviews. (:

**On to story notes: I really wanted to use a line about Sam not wearing any lipstick, and Freddie offering to give her some, but it seemed a little too bold for Fredward, dear, and I really couldn't figure out how to add it in.**

**I originally had Sam sign the note 'S', because sometimes I'm too lazy to do my own signature (and that seems like a total Sam thing to do). It was later I figured out she's be dressed as Supergirl, so now the 'S' has a couple different meanings. BTW, Jennette would SOOO rock as Supergirl, Just putting that out there.**

**Carly's dress doesn't seem super camp (they all seem a bit mild, actually) but it is a reference to the Halloween costume that Karen wore in Mean Girls (mouse was one of the words, so it had to be). I figured that'd add a little camp.**

**Also some of the cheesy pick up lines came from a twitter feed #failedpickuplines (sadly some of which I've had used on me), and a few that I already knew. I tried to keep them PG, except for Sam who stretched a bit to PG-13.**

**Oh, and I forgot to credit Somerdaye with the "Pickleweasel" in the last chapter, so I used her name as the 6th grader in the beginning (pssst. She's not in 6th grade.) Thanks Somer. And so I don't forget, thanks to The Infamous Katie, Panda Hallows, and Fictions of Legends for helping with other stuff.**

**Thanks for joining me on this 100 words, check back for more Cheesy goodness. Don't forget to leave your comments and suggestions (or random words) at the review button below. Thanks.**


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